Yesterday someone told me: " You are too beautiful to be single!" I didn't know what to reply in the first place, so I just smiled but it kept me thinking for a while.

First of all I asked myself what does being beautiful means? If you look in the dictionary for a defenition of the adjective beautiful it says "having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense of sight or excellent, wonderful". In my opinion beautiful means far more than that. Beauty in my eyes is not defined in the looks, clothes, body, hair or assecoires someone has, but rather by their character, their outsent vibes, their behaviour and their mood.

I don't think I'm beautiful, but I see myself as an attractive, selfconfident and charismatic young woman. Yes, charisma for me is what really defines beauty,  and with my positive life energy, a caring and loving personality plus a friendly attitude towards people, I think I have that.

Actually, being a "beautiful single" in this world is a good thing. Not that I really chose to be single or don't want to be in a commited relationship, I really want to and do see myself settling down one day. But with the right person. To find that right partner is the hard part.

I'm someone who takes relationships serious and when this dating thing begins, especially after the first kiss, I'm loyal. No meeting other guys, no number giving away, no secret messages, no intensive flirting. Simple as that. Multitasking has never been one of my qualities and as a woman who can't even speak on the phone whilest having the TV on, handling more than one man at a time is impossible. Therefor cheating is out of question, neither do i like to share a man.

After many years more or less sucessful relationships with guys, who were not good for me and one guy who actually was but me too blind to see, I learned that it takes far much more than attraction, compatibility and love between two people to build a solid relationship. Mostly it takes time. Loads and loads of time. To get to know each other, construct a solid foundation and spend quality time together.

Unfortunatly I often made the mistake of starting whats or whatever with a guy who I barely knew. Not only that I didn't listen to my vibes when they shew me that I'm going too fast, but  I also overheard the big alarm bells ringing, trying to tell me that this guy is a bad idea. As this little weak, depending and hopeless desperatly looking for love creature I was at this time, it was easy for men to take advantage of  my love, trust and respect to break my heart, to use and abuse me, to play with my feelings, to lie to me or to cheat on me. I know too well, that I did a lot of mistakes by myself which made them use my insecurity or my jealousy, caused by the fear of loosing another man again, against me. But with all the damages and pain they left inside of me they also helped me to become the person that I'm today. A strong, independent and careful woman who trust less and chooses wise who comes close.

I decided to give my heart a break instead of letting it break again and just enjoy being alone.

Being alone gets often mistaken as being lonely. I'm very used to be alone but I'm defenetly not feeling lonely. Yes, I do have every now and than a lonely moment. A moment when I do something real special, see something nice or experience something extraordinary what I would like to share with someone, or on a bad day to just get a hug or a kiss to feel better, but alltogether I'm a very happy person. Alone.

And the single live gives loads of advantages. I come home when i want, do what I want and where I want and never need to explain myself to no one. It also gives me the freedom to meet with other people, like my mates, friends and family whenever i feel to. And not to forget all that beautydrama like shaving on a seconddaily routine, I can easily leave the legs unshaved for a few more days, in winter at least. No questioning of what to wear on a date and the whole dating process, including all this nervous scary beginning feelings with hopefully don't say something wrong, waiting for calls or messages and all those expectations, just seem to not exist. I like that, though I'm actually not the biggest fan of the dating game for myself... I don't like new much, I'm actually kind of scared of NEW. Scared of new men, scared of changes, scared of beginnings specially when it comes to feelings and Sex.

New Sex, I hate it. All this questions of "Am I good enough?", "Does he like what I'm doing down there?", "How I'm moving?", "Changing positions now?", "How do my breats look?" ...and also the expectations I actually have in that field. Oh hell yeah, it's defenetly not easy to please me. We women are complicated when it comes to sex.I'm more that kind of known and comfortable woman, and when it's good I like to do it with the same person, not someone new. Thatfor I prefere to avoid all the "New-drama" and help others to play the dating game right and find their perfect partner and to make other people be happy together...

Because for me, I'm actually not looking. I'm patiently living my happy single life until someone special will cross my way, a man who is attractive but who will knock me off my feet by his personality. A calm, caring, patient and honest man. A nonsmoker, anti drugs like me with a love for animals, the nature and the ability to enjoy moments you can't pay with any money in the world. Someone who makes me shy, a man who is with both feet on the ground, a man who makes me laugh on a daily basis, who makes me forget about my past by creating a wonderful present, someone I don't need to explain myself to, someone who I can be completly myself with, no matter how silly or crazy I can be sometimes, who will slowly earn my trust and respect and appriciates all the love and respect i will give towards him. The man who will bring out the best in me and make me change my bad behaviours, but most important, THAT man who will make me happier than I could be alone.

My mum always said." Never settle for less when you can have the best!"

And by the way, I tapped that young boy on his shoulder when he walked out and said:

"Hey listen, I'm not too beautiful to be single. I'm too beautiful to be lied to, cheated on and played with!" he looked puzzled and all I could add was...

" And just so you know. I'm not single. But I'm not taken. I'm simply on reserve for the one that deserves my heart!"

- Sissy van Reuber-

read more about me on my following Blog "FLIRTATIONSHIPS" in the next days